Our resident bassist / columnist languishes for love in this poetic example of a musician falling for The Grass is Greener Syndrome. We've all been there; or if you're young, you'll be there soon enough. Chris writes, "My focus in music is no longer the blame / although it's a venue of infidels shame." Have you ever met someone at a gig that made you want to just chuck it all and start over? Just remember; wherever you go - there you are. - Mitch Click "Read More" below to read the poem.
a lesson not learnedby Chris Baydnee©2002 i still look for her a few times a day on-line, under contacts there listed her name then without saying anything right away i've visions of giggles, when our minds were at play i could enjoy this moment before reality's stain spills on the keys, my hands pull away to avoid an encounter, i don't know what to say i'd not do a thing to disturb her i'd not resurface our pain i'd not pull the shade on my make believe ray of hope that she misses our game (i wish it'd go away) she changed her address, i've gotta let her be i think she changed her name to something i can't see is this really me? embracing absurdity i'm married to one, and my other has set free. i search for a reason, how could i let this come to be i knew it was wrong, she is one, i can't keep. i'll leave her alone we carried on much too long a year together, our words shared each dawn a retrospect... twenty three years with my wife, three wonderful kids, i built my own house, comfortably we live my focus should be to excel within my government position chewed off as much as i've bitten in the music i've written about worlds and the world attempting to fit in yet some how somewhat twisted then and in there... i met the woman of my dreams what do i do? live for my life? live for my wife? will i leave her for another? then after that, is there another to discover? another lover undercover? if life is to live for love, where does it stop if love is the force from above, where will it drop it's now happened twice in my fourty three years it's now happened twice i've aquired a fear of my future. if i fall in love once, then i fall in love again, what happens then, when again becomes again, again? i am functionally insane i'm very quiet, i usually am. as i deliver mail for six hours a day alone with my thoughts i argue, there's so much to say the begining IS so far away very different than today my focus concern is what i will pay not what things are worth not things standing on dirt not for words, or a disasterous flirt my focus concern is what i will pay for a chosen frame of reason for a collection of values in thought that once were sought, caught, fought, bought, collected and sorted cherished and courted now what? every experience had an emotional song now everythings different INCLUDING she's gone! before we ever met, nothing was wrong the day was never long the day is now still the day is a force to be survived the day is one of many everything still has the same molecular structure today but is different in an unexplainable way my focus in music is no longer the blame although it's a venue of infidels shame i'm a man in a mask wearing fantacy's face as i seek one more game with each note as laid bait the newness in shadows, this passionate place i'll turn my amp up then face center stage and move near the eyes of a beautiful face i shake as she moves to the sounds of my bass i am funcionally insane... i must be. Chris Baydnee©2002 |
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